CHAOS!!!

cha·os (ks) n.

1. A condition or place of great disorder or confusion.

2. A disorderly mass; a jumble: The desk was a chaos of papers and unopened letters.

Do you ever feel that you are living in chaos?? I certainly do (or have been for the past few months at least). I remember a time when I felt like I was on top of EVERYTHING....my family life, my work, my housework, my alone time with God....everything was going so well. Along comes a bump in the road and everything falls apart. Don't get me wrong, my life is wonderful and I am blessed beyond measure in so many ways I can't count them all. Sometimes all the "stuff" just gets to me and I can't turn off my brain. The past few weeks, my brain just won't shut down...no matter how hard I will it to shut down, it just doesn't happen.

I decided the only way to get this "stuff" gone from my head is to clean up, sort and throw out/recycle "stuff" in my house. Not that I have gotten very far yet, but I'm starting to get out of this season of chaos (I think). I do best when I have a list....my husband can attest that I'm a "list freak." I have more lists that you would believe. There is nothing more satisfying (to me) than to mark through something that I have actually accomplished. I was talking to Chris the other day about wanting to finish my CD project (transferring a HUGE STACK of old CDs to iTunes, thus getting rid of a BUNCH of CDs we haven't listened to in forever) so I can get to the rest of my list. He asked what else I had on my list....I'm sure he was sorry he ever asked that question. I spit out my list and just gave him the top things I was thinking about at the time. Please know that Chris does SO MUCH around here and he helps out tremendously! He is an incredible husband....it's just that I feel that I could/should be doing more to make things run a little smoother around here.

I work from home and take care of Sam each day as well. A lot of things around the house suffer due to what I consider are my main commitments. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I was away from the house every day and I didn't have a CONSTANT reminder of what I'm not doing on a daily basis. It's all part of the internal battle in my head--what I really need to be doing vs. what I want to be doing. By the time we are all together in the evening, I just want to be with my family and not worry about the house stuff. I'm hoping that by doing some major spring cleaning (albeit a little at a time), it will help me organize the rest of my life and I can get back to FULLY enjoying the wonderful life that I already have.

I'm definitely a work in progress....